Archive for the 'Rumors, Lies, Stories They Made Up' Category
Singing Dentist To Cover David Bowie?
Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Yes, you read that headline right. Apparently, Andrew Bain, an NHS dentist in Britain, is due to launch an album of covers of some of his favorite songs. Besides David Bowie, Bain will cover Bryan Adams and ABBA with his own style of opera blended with pop. Bain was originally offered a recording contract based on his demo tape of his cover of Purple Rain. Unfortunately, Prince was not amused by the pop-opera cover because he put his foot down and would not give Bain permission to include Purple Rain on his album.

Everyone who reads this site regularly probably knows how the Webmaster and I feel about covers of Bowie songs – they are mostly useless but occasionally inspired. Honestly, I don’t see how an operatic cover of a Bowie song by a singing dentist could be any less than four kinds of awesome. I hope that this news item is actually true because I am REALLY looking forward to hearing this.

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Is David Bowie Joining the Political Fray?
Tuesday, August 5th, 2008

Take this for what it’s worth, but two rumors have popped up on the net over the past few days that David Bowie is bound for Colorado. The first was in last Saturday’s Denver Post, suggesting that he might join the lineup of the Tent State Music Festival. Planned to coincide with the Democratic National Convention in Denver later this month, the aim of the fest is send a message to the Dems to end the war. The organizers have only promised a “rock legend,” though, not a “rock god.”

Then another story showed up on yesterday with a rumor about Bowie showing up at the DNC itself. Really? That just doesn’t sound like his kind of gig to me. There have been so many false rumors purporting his involvement this year, I don’t see it happening. But as a longtime fan of Bowie’s, I’m very ready for him to do something unpredictable.

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Gigwise Makes Crap Up About David Bowie
Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

What started out as an innocent comment to the Daily Mail, Gigwise managed to turn into blatant rumor-mongering. In an article in the Daily Mail, T In The Park festival organizer Geoff Ellis remarked about Bowie, “It would be nice for him to do the Main Stage as soon as he feels ready. It feels like unfinished business.” (For those of you who don’t remember, Bowie was scheduled to headline in 2004 before he had to cancel the end of A Reality Tour due to his emergency heart surgery for a condition originally thought to be a pinched nerve in the shoulder.)

Anyway, Scott Colothan at Gigwise decides that molehill really ought to be a mountain. He wrote in his farticle, “The musical institution that is David Bowie is rumored to be headlining next year’s T In The Park festival.” Now I ask you, where exactly in Ellis’ comment did he say that T In The Park was actively working with Bowie to book him as the headliner? In no way can anyone who follows Bowie’s career deduce that because a festival planner wants Bowie to headline their festival that he will do so. Hell, he didn’t even headline the festival that HE planned!

And if that’s not enough to make you throw your hands up in disgust at Colothan’s article, he also mentioned that Bowie originally pulled out of the festival in 2004 due to a shoulder injury. Now if the date today were the end of June 2004, I could understand the mention of Bowie’s shoulder injury. But the date is more than 4 years after Bowie had to cancel and more than 4 years after finding out that the shoulder pain was due to a blocked artery. You know, the type of shoulder pain that is a common symptom of cardiac distress in men?! Gah! What journalist doesn’t have access to Google to check facts before sending an article to print? To be fair, with a bit of thought I can make an educated assumption that Colothan intended to refer to the original reason that Bowie gave for canceling – the shoulder pain. However as it is written, and especially in light of the blatant rumor-mongering, the line is misleading.

Maybe I’m unnecessarily getting my blood pressure up over this, but this article seems like it was written just to tweak the hopes of Bowie fans. Like maybe if the writer mentions the possibility of a live Bowie performance then fans will flock to the site boosting traffic for that month. We the fans with good memories and resources see what you’re trying to do Mr. Colothan… and rather than be simply let down to find out there are no actual negotiations being reported on, we’re aggravated.

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In the Hudson Valley This Friday? Looking For A David Bowie Themed Party?
Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Then have we got a party for you! From one of our readers, Steven Evans: “My project will be an homage to Bowie, playing music he has created, performed, produced, written, as well as music he has inspired or that may have inspired him. It will feature everything from Iggy Pop to Visage, including Brian Eno, T-Rex, Bauhaus, Talking Heads, Jobriath, Pet Shop Boys, and many others. The night will be Glam, Dance, Rock and Roll, and even include some quieter moments (think “Space Oddity” and “Crystal Japan”). The inspiration comes from Bowie himself, and also from the many quarters he has inspired, including the 1980s New Romantics and the more experimental strains of Pop and Rock. Revelers are encouraged to dress the part!”

The name of the party is:

A Project by Steven Evans

related to
Mr. David Bowie

The party takes place this Friday, July 11 at 10 pm at SpiegelClub in the Spiegeltent at the Richard B. Fisher Center for the Performing Arts at Bard College. There is no cover charge. The SpiegelClub offers a late-night bar with music and dancing, the SpiegelClub is the region’s most exhilarating summer gathering place, where audiences and artists can meet over a drink or a casual bite and enjoy SummerScape evenings at Bard. Travelers may follow this link to find directions to the Richard B. Fisher Center for the Performing Arts at Bard College, Annandale-on-Hudson, NY. Prior to Steven’s DJ set, Peter and the Wolf will be performed in the Spiegeltent beginning at 8:30pm, tickets $25. See the Fisher Center website for details on the program.

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Someone Fell To Earth…And Hit Their Head
Monday, May 19th, 2008

The bastion of truth in journalism in the Western world, The Sun, reported that David Bowie has approved a stage show based around his musical catalogue and ‘The Man Who Fell To Earth‘, much like Mama Mia or We Will Rock You. Sorry to say, this is a complete untruth. Or as Bowie succinctly said, “Absolute toss.” I guess it doesn’t get much plainer than that, Gordon Smart (who apparently also feels threatened by Bowie’s Area in Labyrinth – read the second part of the article) is full of crap.

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What’s Really Happening
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

Apparently some reporter overheard Iman gabbing recently. I wonder if it wasn’t at the Vanity Fair’s Tribeca Film Festival Party. Since then the same three anecdotes have been popping up on gossip sites all over the net. Each farticle* makes a weak attempt to turn a quote from Iman into a news item. Below are each of the quotes, followed by its resultant headline, followed by what I expected Iman must have said when I first read the headline.

“Two weeks ago Alexandria was listening to Hilary Duff songs. David just leaves the room. He thinks she should be listening to underground music.”

Bowie Despairs of Daughter’s Musical Taste

“What do you know, I caught David sobbing wildly with his head in the oven again. He wouldn’t tell me why crying, but I looked at iTunes, and noticed that Lexi had swapped his Arcade Fire playlist with her Hillary Duff playlist. Then it all made sense.”

On Heidi Klum hosting Project Runway in the US: “Definitely Heidi and I come from two different places. I’m not belittling Heidi Klum, but I have been in fashion much more than she has. Not to toot my own horn, but I have been one of the best runway girls. I know clothes, and I know about working hand in hand with designers, I mean, I’ve worked with Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs, John Galliano. Yves St Laurent – he created a whole collection for me. Tom Ford, Valentino. Versace. Jean Paul Gaultier. Thierry Mugler… I could go on and on.”

Iman Starts War with Klum

“Heidi Klum presents an imminent threat to the safety and security of our nation. She has ignored UN security council resolutions for far too long. Consequently, on the morning of April 28th, 2008, I ordered a surgical air strike on Heidi Klum’s home.”

On hooking up with David: “It took me a while. because, you know, he’s a rock star and you’ve got to be careful with rock stars. I was a huge fan though. I would go to his concerts and there were invitations to see him backstage, but I didn’t do that. I’m not that girl.”

Iman Rejected Husband David Bowie’s Charms During Their First Meeting

“Our first date was going well, but then he grabbed a guitar and rearranged the words of China Girl to something like Somali Girl, and I was deeply offending. I grabbed the guitar from him, smashed it on the coffee table and that was that.”

* That’s right, I said farticle. I know it’s not a word. I just made it up. A farticle is a tiny blast of insubstantial, foul-smelling information.

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“Will” Bowie Join the Cast of An Upcoming Musical?
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

According to Reuters, Bowie is considering joining Lisa Kudrow and Liam Aiken in the cast for the upcoming movie “Will.” The movie is a musical dramedy about a popular high-school girl and her outcast classmate who form a rock band for their schools battle of the bands. If it turns out to be true and not sheer rumor like Bowie appearing in Doctor Who then I’ll upgrade this post from the Rumors, Lies, Stories They Made Up section to the News section. I hope it’s true though – how awesome would it be for Bowie to sing and dance in a new movie! Sadly, I don’t think he’ll put the Labyrinth tights back on, but I’ll be happy with singing and dancing.

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EMI Troubles
Monday, February 4th, 2008

This is pure speculation and rumor among industry people, but the Bromley Times reports that some are wondering whether Bowie will give EMI Records the cold shoulder if they buy Chrysalis and by default own some of Bowie’s early works. Not sure why anyone would speculate about this or how Bowie could even snub them since he is already signed with Columbia Records. But whatever, if it happens you can say you heard it here.

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Lunchbox Auction
Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

According to PR Newswire, David Bowie will design a lunchbox to benefit the Food Bank For New York City and The Lunchbox Fund of South Africa. However, the official site for the auction does not list him among the artists who have contributed. I assume the report was an error on the part of PR Newswire.

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Alas, David Bowie Will Not Be Appearing in ‘Doctor Who’
Thursday, August 30th, 2007

Every Friday night I turn into a squeeing eight-year-old girl when ‘Doctor Who‘ comes on the SciFi channel. Nothing is allowed to distract me lest I turn into a very unhappy eight-year-old girl. So imagine my excitement when I saw a news item in ‘The Sun’ claiming that Bowie would be appearing in an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ as Agatha Christie’s abductor. Then imagine my disappointment when I read on Bowienet that Bowie proclaimed the announcement as “absolute tish and tosh.” Boo! How cool would that have been?! Bowie would have been perfect as an otherwordly kidnapper matching wits with David Tennant as the Tenth Doctor. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time Bowie played that part. NB: Be sure to click on the link to ‘The Sun’ to see an amusing photo collage of David Bowie peering out of the Dalek Supreme casing.

[Brief Update] Dammit, I missed out on making a horrible tin machine pun! I am losing my touch.

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