If the New York Post is to be taken at it’s word, Las Vegas club owner Ivan Kane was planning to open a burlesque club in partnership with Bowie and Sting until the tentative landlord pulled out of the deal. I would insert a witty comment here but my brain has short-circuited at the thought of Bowie funding a burlesque club. What would he call it? “Let’s Pole Dance”? “Burlesque Stardust”? Wait, no, I’ve got it – he would call it “Heaven’s In Here”! And of course all the dancers would have Bowie- or Sting-themed names, including “Roxanne” and “Jean Genie.”

Seriously, I wonder what a Bowie-funded burlesque club would be like. Surely it would have a red-and-blue lightning bolt painted somewhere. I just hope it’s open by the time the High Line Festival starts, because I have got to see it.

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