According to the ridiculous site Love Gods Way, David Bowie is one on a long list of bands that might slyly turn you or your children *gasp* gay. No seriously, look at the list on the site. Then take a look at the list of the “safe” bands. If you listen to the Dresden Dolls, then you’re probably okay. So lyrics like “coin operated boy/sitting on the shelf he is just a toy/but I turn him on and he comes to life/automatic joy” are way better for the eternal fate of my soul than lyrics like “I should live my life on bended knee/If I can’t control my destiny.” Whew, good to know. I wonder if my risk of turning gay is canceled out by the fact that I’m Catholic?

Update: Joe over at Joe.My.God. has noticed that improv actor Joel Oglesby looks suspiciously like Pastor Donnie Davies of Love Gods Way. Check it out for yourself. If Joel Oglesby really is Donnie Davies then that’s a brilliant bit of viral marketing. Can’t wait for C.H.O.P.S. the Movie. Now I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that David Bowie won’t make me gay.

6 Responses to “Watch Out For That Insidious Bowie (Updated)”

  1. saudade Says:

    Hmmm. Roman Catholic…after the Greeks the Romans have the most, erm, colorful history on record around the joys of homosexuality. I’d watch yourself.

    Uh-oh, a Bowie page run by a Roman Catholic — does this mean reading this blog might make me gay? πŸ˜‰

    Seriously, that site is so laughable and tragic. I love that they list Elton John not once, but TWICE, and the second time it is as, “Elton John (really gay).” Just in case you forget! Haha, and Morrissey is “questionable.” Hilarious, except for the “God Hates Fags!” tag that comes up. Oh well, they’ll learn when they’re dead.

  2. Webmaster Says:

    Recently the Webmistress suggested that she’d like to go to an upcoming Meat Loaf concert in our area. I told her (jokingly) that I have no desire to go because his music is clearly very gay. She ardently denies this, so I just emailed the webmaster of the Love God’s Way website begging him to add Meat Loaf to his list of gay bands. We’ll see what happens…

  3. Webmistress Says:

    I showed the site to my mother so she could see how laughable it is, and I swear the list of Bands To Watch Out For is longer now! Scary.

    And, no, Meat Loaf is not on there yet despite the Webmaster’s best efforts. πŸ˜‰

  4. saudade Says:

    One must not forget that in one of Meat Loaf’s more famous roles, he’s killed by a transvestite, which you just know totally means he’s either SUPER gay for not fighting like a man, or a martyr for the cause against Sodom and Gomorrah. Could go either way.

    Webmaster, you might slam dunk this though if you point out the imore intricate aspects of his relationship with one murderous Frank-n-furter, and of course that all he wanted was rock and roll, porn, and a motorbike. Clearly the signs are all there.

  5. Webmaster Says:

    For your enjoyment, this is my email to the owner of the Love God’s Way website. No response yet. πŸ™

    Dear Mr. Davies,

    I am writing in regard to your Love Gods Way website. To start, I would like to say that very few parents are willing to admit the influence modern music has on the youth of today, so I commend your courage in posting your lists of gay and safe bands. The main reason I am writing is to tell you that I was very surprised I did not see Meat Loaf listed on the list of gay bands. I am begging you to add him. My overweight, 13-year-old son “came out of the closet” just two years ago. I am so ashamed and am working every day to try and lead him back to the right path. My son has always loved music and has listened to many of the bands you listed. More than any other, though, he loves Meat Loaf. Needless to say, I feel strongly that Meat Loaf’s music greatly contributed to my son’s abandonment of God’s Way, and I cannot begin to describe the guilt I feel for allowing him to repeatedly pump such garbage into his head, listening to Meat Loaf’s songs. While Meat Loaf’s lyrical content may not directly be construed as gay, I believe his role in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, a terrible movie which celebrates gay and transgender lifestyles, has forever made Meat Loaf’s personae and music attractive to the gays. I am asking you with all of my heart to help me warn other unsuspecting parents and include Meat Loaf on your list of gay bands.

    Thank you for your time,

    G. Blansten

    P.S. – Shouldn’t your website name be written “Love God’s Way” with an apostrophe? No apostrophe makes God plural and might suggest a support of polytheism to some.

    If Mr. Davies responds, I plan to also suggest that he use a more masculine picture of himself on his home page, instead of the photo of him playing a guitar in a pink shirt. Otherwise visitors might assume that he is gay man himself who is only maintaining the website as a hoax.

  6. Webmaster Says:

    Right, David Bowie wonÒ€ℒt make you gay.

    But Meatloaf will.