Archive for the 'Rumors, Lies, Stories They Made Up' Category
Strange Fascinations
Saturday, July 28th, 2007

Apparently we Bowie fans keep strange company.  Which one of you is up for sitting around with a 1980’s Karl Rove, lounging in track suits, nuking microwave dinners, and listening to David Bowie records?  Hell yeah, I know I am.

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Who Doesn’t Want a Burlesque Club in Their Neighborhood?
Friday, June 29th, 2007

Last month we reported that Bowie, Sting and Ivan Kane had picked a location to open their New York City burlesque club, Forty Deuce. The selected building at 19 Kenmare Street was formerly the home of a mobster hangout called Little Charlie’s Clam Bar. Now, according to Downtown Express, a group of neighboorhood residents are looking to put the brakes on the club. They collected 1,200 signatures over a four day period and submitted a petition to the State Liquor Authority on June 19 urging them to deny Forty Deuce a liquor license. Two days later, 20 neighbors attended a Community Board meeting to voice their opinions.

SLA rules prohibit liquor licenses to businesses within 500 feet of churches and schools, and there is a Chinatown Head Start school just a block away from the planned club site. Yet within 500 feet of 19 Kenmare and a proposed side entrance to the club, there are 26 other business sites that already have liquor licenses.

The residents are also suggesting that the club producers have not been completely forthright about the nature of the club. They stated that the original notice submitted by Forty Deuce to the Community Board identified the proposed club as a 3,000 square-foot “lounge bar” with no mention of the burlesque show, and other documentation and news articles have cited the club’s size as 4,500 and 5,500 square-feet. Meanwhile, Kane’s attorney denies the allegation and noted that the burlesque show at the Las Vegas Forty Deuce reveals so little naked skin that no adult entertainment permit is required. Thus far the Community Board has taken no action one way or the other.

Read more about the club on

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To Talk of Stars and Kings and Feet
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

Apparently Lindsay Lohan has completed her 12th step and Paris Hilton has joined a convent, because Iman’s feet were worth discussing on last month. With a close up of Iman’s feet in heels from the 2007 Can-Do Awards, blogger Angel wrote:

Those dogs above need more than a deep-soak, they need help. I guess all those years on the runway take a toll on the feet. Guess who?! YES, THIS IS AN ACTUAL SHOT OF HER FEET. NO ONE IS MESSING AROUND IN PHOTOSHOP!

Real classy. Normally I would say that gossip this lame isn’t worth repeating, but Iman responded to the insult on her MySpace page by posting a picture of herself and David at the Met’s Annual Costume Institute Gala, writing:

We attended the Met’s Annual Costume institute Gala and i have to say it was amazing … i knew everyone would have a dress on so i decided to wear a suit and david loved it, also decided to cover my feet up as Concreteloop would post up how ugly my feet are (Yes Angela i read your Blogg)

Then Angel, acknowledging her own insignificance, posted a new blog entry titled WOW! IMAN READS CONCRETELOOP! Read this excerpt from her entry, you can actually feel her cowering beneath Iman’s shadow:

After finding out that the legendary Iman is a frequent reader of Concreteloop, I actually feel really bad for clowning her dogs earlier this week. But come on Iman, we had to keep it real! Hilarious! She is such a good sport. And she kept it classy at the gala, those shoes that she rocked were fierce.

I love that Iman got the blogger’s name wrong, too, calling her Angela instead of Angel. If that doesn’t make you feel forgetable.

Maybe this is just the nature of gossip, and we shouldn’t expect anything different, but I really think celebrity gossip has its place. When a star gets drunk, wraps their car around a tree and disrespects their entire family, I think they deserve the embarrassment of the gossip columns telling all. But what did Iman do to deserve this unpleasantry? Wear shoes? How is that ‘keeping it real?’ I think a nice close up of Angel’s own disfigured pedals would be keeping it real.

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David Bowie Will Not Be Appearing in “Cornelius Fly”
Friday, May 25th, 2007

Despite the claims of the Iceland Review, David Bowie will not be appearing in Gus Olafsson‘s debut film, Cornelius Fly. David himself posted on the BowieNet message board, “This is total b.s. I’ve never heard of it.” Total Blam Blam over at BowieNet speculates that the spurious claim is a publicity stunt, and I agree. Nice try though, Olafsson – maybe you and Richard Branson can get together for a drink and exchange notes.

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Is David Bowie Really Going To Send Music Into the Final Frontier?
Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

This one is a head-scratcher for me too. This week the Webmaster and I came across two stories about Michael C. Luckman‘s Signals to Space Concerts. Luckman plans to hold music festivals in Tokyo, Berlin, New York, China, Russia, Mexico and London and beam the music out into space for extraterrestrial beings to hear. The goal is to make peaceful contact, Voyager 1 and 2-style. No dates, venues, or line-up for the concerts have been determined but Luckman is hoping to sign David Bowie as a headliner along with Sir Paul McCartney, Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Michael Jackson (!?), and Aerosmith.

I’m not sure the point of this concert series. According to Luckman, he and the producer are going to send the music to “targets in our solar systems[sic], including Mars and the moon.” The last time I checked there was not life on Mars (groan groan, I know, horrible pun) nor was there life on the moon. Furthermore, every radio signal that is sent to any receiver on Earth eventually makes it’s way out of the atmosphere and into space. So any extraterrestrial life that is tuning in to our frequencies will already know what we listen to and how much boy bands and poptarts suck. Not to mention that the Voyager satellites already have sound files containing not just music but also general sounds that a person living on Earth might experience in their lifetime. This concert series idea sounds like Luckman is just trying to promote his book that he published two years ago and is trying to enlist all of the living artists he mentioned on it’s pages to help him do so.

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NYC’s Not Big Enough for Two Festivals?
Wednesday, April 25th, 2007

New York Magazine’s Arts & Events section published an article yesterday on the rivalry between the producers and patrons of Robert De Niro’s Tribeca Film Festival and those of David Bowie’s High Line Festival. Both festivals are set in New York City in the very near future.

The article suggests that the friction springs from the contrasting audiences of old and snobby rich folks versus young and sulky hipsters. The writer quotes an unnamed insider as saying “I hear it’s driving [63-year-old] Robert De Niro crazy, and that’s just great because he’s a big old wrinkled thug versus these young guys.” Young guys refers to High Line producers David Binder and Josh Wood, who are in their 30s.

I’m not sure I buy it. It sounds to me like an attempt to stir up controversy where there is none. After all, the Tribeca Film Festival starts today and ends before the High Line begins, so culture-starved city dwellers have the opportunity to attend both. Tribeca producer Jane Rosenthal plans to do just that.

Still, the two pressing questions most of us have about the High Line Festival are, one, what project is keeping Bowie from performing at it? And two, why did it take so long for the festival promotion to begin? The article sheds some light on the latter question. Apparently, the High Line producers attempted to hire the same PR firm as the Tribeca Film Festival, an outfit named Rubenstein. Rubenstein ruminated on the decision of whether or not to promote the High Line Festival for a good long while before they ultimately declined. Some think it was a conspiracy, a deliberate ploy to curtail interest in the High Line Festival.

Maybe. But if that’s true, I think the High Line producers deserve some blame for picking Rubenstein in the first place. If the High Line is seriously geared toward a young, hip audience, I think the most appropriate promotion would have been innovative, on par with the Aqua Teen Hunger Force bomb scare or Year Zero’s discarded bathroom flash drives. If Rubenstein was taking its sweet time with an answer, the High Line producers could easily have pursued a different promoter.

The New York Post also ran a bit about this in their gossip column today. They quoted David Bowie as saying, “I am afraid I have no control over the inexplicable comments from the High Line producers. I think the Tribeca Film Festival is unique and irreplaceable.” He and Iman attended the opening of the Tribeca Film Festival last night and were photographed with De Niro, according to Bowienet. I haven’t seen any photos of them together, but unless they’re strangling one another in them, I think this story is total bunk.

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Coco Schwab Joins David Bowie in The Big 6-0
Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Again I fall prey to my weakness for cheap, trashy gossip blogs. I got this bit of sweet news from Gatecrasher via Gawker. For her 60th birthday, Coco Schwab received a white gold, coral rose, and diamond ring from her boss David Bowie. Everyone say it with me, “Awwwwwrrr! Isn’t that sweet!” Coco has been David’s personal assistant for almost 35 years – and I’m sure likely to stay around for several more with recognition like that. Happy birthday, Coco!

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Metro Newspaper Is Living Under A Rock
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

The UK Metro newspaper published this half-baked article in yesterday’s edition. In the article they claim that Jermaine Jackson caused trouble with his former wives by maintaining a friendship with Bowie’s ex-wife Iman. Now, I ask you, where has the Metro been for the past twelve years?! There is no excuse for this type of shoddy reporting. For Pete’s sake, Bowie is a British icon. One would think that a British newspaper would get such an important fact about him correct, especially since there have just been a slew of articles published about him since he just turned 60 and a good number of those made reference to Iman. Apparently, fact-checking exceeds the capabilities of the Metro.

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Burlesque Bowie
Monday, December 18th, 2006

If the New York Post is to be taken at it’s word, Las Vegas club owner Ivan Kane was planning to open a burlesque club in partnership with Bowie and Sting until the tentative landlord pulled out of the deal. I would insert a witty comment here but my brain has short-circuited at the thought of Bowie funding a burlesque club. What would he call it? “Let’s Pole Dance”? “Burlesque Stardust”? Wait, no, I’ve got it – he would call it “Heaven’s In Here”! And of course all the dancers would have Bowie- or Sting-themed names, including “Roxanne” and “Jean Genie.”

Seriously, I wonder what a Bowie-funded burlesque club would be like. Surely it would have a red-and-blue lightning bolt painted somewhere. I just hope it’s open by the time the High Line Festival starts, because I have got to see it.

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Nice Try There, Branson
Monday, October 16th, 2006

I wouldn’t have a taken a man like Richard Branson for someone who would try to gank an little extra fame by riding on Bowie’s coattails. It appears I was wrong. Last Sunday’s article in the Observer “reports” that Bowie and Iman are coughing up £230,000 for an orbital trip around the world. The reporter was told (didn’t receive the information from reliable sources, just told) that Bowie felt that since he wrote Space Oddity he should take advantage of the publicity surrounding the “event.” The story goes on to, ahem, report that Iman would also have claim to the title of First Supermodel in Space.

Needless to say, Bowie officially declared the story “total tosh” and issued a virtual slap via Bowienet to Branson by saying, “This must be Branson going for some cheap PR.” One might think if Branson wanted to make the most of false PR he would have said that Posh and Becks had ponied up for the ride.

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